Dating Advice from Selective Search’s Barbie Adler

Looking for that special someone but not sure where to find him?


Explore dating advice for women of all ages from Chicago?s very own Barbie Adler, founder and President of Selective Search. Selective Search is Chicago?s elite matchmaking firm that acts as a personal recruiter for the city?s most eligible and commitment-minded bachelors. Women of substance and style are invited to join for free.

Don’t stay in a relationship with the wrong guy too long. That?s something that will hold you back years and allow you to miss the boat on other great guys in your age group when you have the social circle that?s still there. If you know he?s not the one, don?t stay because you?re scared you won?t find anyone else. Also, bad boys are bad guys and not marriage material so don?t date anyone that makes you cry or doesn?t treat you with respect.

Dating In Your 30s

Make sure you?re carving out personal time and aren?t over scheduled ? you need time to date in order to find and keep love in your life. Also make sure to put together your list of what you?re looking for in a life partner, your non-negotiables. Also, return calls promptly and don?t lie that you got back together with an ex in order to let someone down easy. Bad Karma and you?re putting your reputation on the line, not to mention the opportunity to fix each other up with someone more suitable. You want the guy to say ?wow she?s all class ? it?s a bummer she doesn?t like me but that?s one class act.?

Dating In Your 40s

Don?t let the hardships you?ve endured make you bitter about men. Save your complaints about men or life in general with your best friend. But on a date, keep your heart open and happy. Otherwise you?re allowing the past to cast a dark shadow on your future. Men understand that there are a lot of bad guys out there ? but they want to be with someone who?s happy and has the coping skills to handle life?s ups and downs. Don?t project anger, bitterness, sorrow or – god heavens! – that you?re still in love with your ex. That?ll get you nowhere! You shouldn?t be dating if you aren?t happy and love yourself. Keep your antenna up for what you?ve learned doesn?t work for you anymore. Be happy with who you are and let it show ?men LOVE positive, happy, emotionally evolved women.

Dating In Your 50s & Up

This is the best time of your life! You can re-focus on yourself and find your encore love! Love will feel different a second time around ? so don?t expect it to feel the same. You now have different criteria in a man then you did when you were in your 20?s or 30?s. This is a good thing! Don?t be discouraged that all men are looking for a younger girl ? not true! There are so many men looking for an accomplished peer ? partner material. So take good care of yourself inside and out and make sure you put yourself out there. Mr. Wonderful isn?t going to just appear ? make it happen and enjoy the journey.

What can you say about men in Chicago? What hope can you give women here about finding a partner?

They?re out there and wondering where you are! Stay positive because there are just as many amazing guys who are commitment-minded, smart, attractive, fit, funny, high in character and personality who really want to be in a relationship, to be in love and start a family or merge families with someone special. So don?t give up! You just might have to expose yourself to new people, neighborhoods, events, organizations, etc. and of course let us know about you (wink).

? February 2009